Handouts · Dementia & Caregiving
Communicating & Daily Care
As words get harder for your loved one, how you say things matters more than what you say. Small changes in approach can turn a struggle into a calm moment.
Set the Stage
- Reduce noise — turn off the TV before talking.
- Approach from the front; make gentle eye contact.
- Use their name and identify yourself.
- Get to their level and keep a calm, warm tone.
Keep Words Simple
- Short sentences, one idea at a time.
- Ask yes/no questions, not open-ended ones.
- Offer two choices, not many: "Tea or juice?"
- Give one step, wait, then the next.
Patience & Pauses
- Allow extra time to process and respond — count to ten.
- Don't interrupt or finish their sentences too fast.
- If they can't find a word, offer it gently or move on.
- Repeat the same way, using the same words.
Validate, Don't Correct
Arguing with confusion rarely works and causes distress. Instead of correcting a false belief, respond to the feeling behind it.
If they ask for a parent who has died, try "You miss your mom — tell me about her" rather than "She passed years ago."
Everyday Care Tasks
- Keep familiar routines and the same order each day.
- Break bathing/dressing into small, announced steps.
- Lay out clothing in the order it goes on.
- Protect dignity — offer choices and cover for privacy.
Meaningful Activities
- Favor familiar, simplified hobbies — folding, sorting, gardening.
- Use music from their youth; it reaches when words don't.
- Look at old photos and tell stories (reminiscence).
- Focus on the process and connection, not the result.
Body language speaks loudest. A calm face, a soft voice, and an unhurried touch communicate safety even when words don't land. When a moment goes sideways, step back, reset your own tone, and try again later.